Such a Waste....

I know this post should be for the China Trip, a loooong time ago, but i shall put that aside for later. Rite now, is more important as Memories in China Trip will not just fool around, maybe like u?? Hmph... How should I start... Lets just say that, I dun mind being ur fren, but what ur doing now is totally what Junhong is feeling... I wouldnt say that mine's much worse den him, nor will I say that he's is worse den mine... That 'lie' in his case lasted 1/2 a year, mine, half a month. Probably you would say that he's worse, cos that's what I felt when I 1st saw it. Then thinking deeper, mine's really not that better off... Its for half a month... So fast... So I've heard ur story & so on & so forth... I will guarantee that no one else will ever know, cos the thing is, '''' I gave my Word''' . Doesnt really seem that bad of my situation, you may say that im petty or whatnot, but, im pretty damn sure that if you were in my shoes, you will at least feel a tinge of what im feeling, even if its just a little. Waited in the library, for more than an hour, its ok if ur late, but this time, its not late. You totally gave no shyt about it. Not even when I messaged you. That you remembered my existence. Ur at another place by then, playing some crap. At that point in time, a surge of ' I dont know what' feeling just flow through my body. Its not hate or whatnot. Nevermind, I let it pass too. Im not a fan of taking a bus for one stop so walked in that damned rain. U said that ur at that location that point in time so I should just walk to that location using the fastest route. Thx to the rain, I had to take shelter and walk the longer route. When I entered, Wow, ur with this bunch of frens.... Maybe not big enough to be a bunch but, yea. ??Group?? So I should really thank the rain, cos if it wasnt for that, I would have chased you like a dog... I really wonder what  my place is in ur mind... You say like its quite the very highest, but this is not what I would've done to a person who has such a place in me.... Or maybe it's just me who would do otherwise... It doesnt matter, cos all people are different, no matter how similar they are. Maybe thats just how you treat everyone else... I wouldnt blame you for that, but im not a fan of being a pet or toy. I can say that I would most definitely not do that to anyone who would claim the place so high up in the ladder. I waited cos you said that triple 11 was special to you, and you did not wish to go out bcos of 1 person. Later, saw you with those people. Doesnt really seem like 'no one' to me. Wasted 2+ hrs of my life away, its what i realised at that moment. I wouldnt blame you for all of this, cos maybe thats just ur personality... Nothing really matters at all... Not to me, at least I cared, and felt like it mattered to me. Right now, my brain tells me that I shouldnt have met you in the 1st place, wasnt worth it. But my gut tells me that nothing should've changed. Normally, I'd just go with my gut 100%, but now, for the 1st time in my life, Im really starting to question my gut... Maybe ur right... I dun understand you... To me, I dun see it that way, I see that I've tried, and will keep trying. But now, I wonder if I can still keep up that attitude... Im a person of my word, when I said that I'll not let anyone know, I meant it.  However, i dun really see the same in you... Its ok, im not pissed or angry... Just.... cheated??? 'Cheated' seems too strong a word, try  ('cheated' ÷ 2). Now, doesnt seem that you will need me anymore cos you have him & other people. I think its about time I've taken my leave.... Maybe ur right... I just dun understand you... Rest assured, I say it for the last time, Im a person of my word. No one will know anything from me about you.. I've placed it in a safe where the key has been thrown away... Maybe the safe itself should be thrown too... Lastly, I was right... triple 11 was still just another day... The only difference, its a different kinda shyt, like how its always different from yesterday...